Babies may show signs of separation anxiety when they are six months old. In fact, it's natural for young children to feel anxious and sad when saying goodbye. During their early childhood, crying, clinginess, and tantrums are healthy reactions to separation.
Typically, this begins before your child's first birthday and reoccurs until they reach the age of four. While the timing and intensity of separation anxiety may vary, a bit of anxiety when leaving your parents is common
Top Tips on How to Ease Your Child's Separation Anxiety
Using a Soft Blanket.Transitional items like a favourite blanket, a stuffed toy, or small fabric balls can reassure small children. To your child, these objects are a symbol of you.
These toys represent comfort, joy, and safety. Encourage your little ones to attach to a transitional object when they're an infant to ensure they can be better at self-soothing. So when you separate, ensure those objects are at their disposal to offer them comfort while you're away.
Babies often love satin since it provides them with safety and security. Providing them with a blanket or other soft toys when you're away can assist in comforting them. It will make the separation process easier for your child and you.
Always Acknowledge Your Child's Fear. Experts explain that children in a state of anxiety are in a reactive mental state. It means that their brains are in the fight, flight, or freeze mode and their executive functioning fails to perform in the way it should.
Parents should acknowledge their child's fear to help them get back into an integrated state. This way, children can release their emotions and become more open to reasoning. Two expert writers, Siegel and Payne, illustrate how to converse with children in a 'no brain' state. They further explain how you can help them calm down and transition them to a 'yes brain.'
Ease Your Child into Separation. Teach your child to stay calm even when they're away from you. There are various ways that you can start with. For instance, you may tell your little one that you're going to another room and will be back soon. It instils the idea that although you are gone now, you will be back soon.
Whether you're leaving your baby with your spouse, babysitter, or someone else, it can be stressful for both parties. If you've hired an in-home sitter, request them to come earlier.
Remember that your child picks up on your anxiety even though you may not realise it. It affects their reactions as well. Therefore, spending time with your child and sitter is always a good idea. The peace of mind you receive will help you relax, and, in turn, your child will also feel more comfortable. Help alleviate your child's separation anxiety by ensuring they are associating happy thoughts with you going and coming. Let them see you go, regardless of whether it triggers the waterworks. Instead, work on ensuring a fun activity waiting for your little one to participate as soon as you leave.
If you continue to sneak out to avoid seeing your child cry, they may worry you'll disappear at random times. Say your goodbyes, and then ensure she becomes preoccupied with fun-filled activities.
Create a Goodbye Ritual. Once your child has the chance to familiarise themselves with their new environment, you should make your exit. But you shouldn't leave before saying goodbye.
Even if you must practice a major-league handshake, give butterfly kisses, or keep the goodbye short and sweet. Prolonging the transition time will only increase the lingering anxiety.
The Bottom Line
While a bit of anxiety when saying goodbye is natural, parents must know which signs to look out for. These include age-inappropriate clinginess and tantrums, and withdrawal from family, friends, or peers. Preoccupation with intense guilt, refusal to go to school, and excessive fear of leaving the house, are also signs of separation anxiety.
If your child is unwilling to go to school, you must talk to them about their fears and help them calm down. It's always a good idea to request your child's school to allow your little one to come late. Plus, the sooner your child returns to school, the faster they'll learn to survive in their new environment.
Your child may even struggle with specific physical symptoms of separation anxiety. Parents should consider taking their little ones to a specialist to get a professional's opinion. Talk therapy, play therapy, counselling for the family, and rarely medication can assist your little one in their journey.